i really like my new therapist. i’ve been seeing her for about a month and she makes me feel very comfortable. we’ve also talked through a surprising amount of important things, such as partaking in a physical activity when my mind feels too caught up in the same thoughts again and again, like showering - we found out together that showering really calms me, which was cool. and we addressed how i feel really nervous when i don’t get a response from someone after a set amount of time, be it positive, negative or neutral, because of how my parents used to give me the silent treatment when they were mad. we’ve been looking at really good stuff. it’s been really helpful.
but at the same time, i step back and see how much i still can’t deal with. things i feel embarrassed about telling her. things i know she would judge me for. and it’s so frustrating because okay great, i’ll take more showers now! at least i know why i get anxious when someone doesn’t respond to my email! none of this HELPS.